I don't know how I'm supposed to handle when B tells me he's gonna hit me in the face. Or when he calls me a "poopy head" and a "cooc" (I don't even know what that means). Where does all this come from? How am I supposed to tell him that's not nice? I tell him over and over not to say those things but I can't seem to find the right words to stick in his head. He seems to do it to me the most. Right when I walk in the door, it's on. How am I supposed to teach him the right things? What am I not doing right?
Please don't get me wrong. He can be the most sweetest boy ever. He does love on me and he does tell me he loves me. He is so sweet to Macie and loves to be the leader with Jaxon. He is the biggest helper and loves to do work outside with his grandpa or help pick up inside. He loves to play with other kids and plays so well with them.
Maybe he is like this because he is so shy and has to find some outlet for people to pay attention to him? He doesn't like to be the center of attention with grown-ups but he loves when other kids follow him and does what he does.
Maybe because he doesn't talk as clear as his cousin he has to find some way to be heard over him or any other kids around? And being mean is the only way? It is only around some of his cousins that he is the most like that. Is it because they see so much of each other? I don't know.
I pray this is just a phase.
7 comments:
Kids thrive best on consistency. So with this phase you and Chris must be consistent. Letting him know that hitting is absolutely unacceptable and there will be consequences if he does act out. Then you must always follow through with a punishment if he does hit. If you never let him getaway with hitting or threatening to hit - he'll start saying and doing it less and less. I think you are right he is saying and doing this for attention. Since he's the oldest maybe he's feeling a little left out as your focus and care is on the youngest ones. Maybe do a reward program (sticker chart for good behavior) for him, kids LOVE rewards! And also don't forget to set aside some quality alone time with him - maybe when his siblings are napping.
Lastly express to him that calling bad names really hurts your feelings. Ask why he uses them and if he would like to be called a bad name and if it would hurt his feelings. To get through to Madeline I would often remind her how disappointed God, Daddy and Mommy her bad behavior or name calling. Knowing they are disappointing us somehow makes them feel really, really bad and sad about what they've done.
I agree with the consistency. And it has to be the same every time. I can't remember where I heard this but when one of the kids would yell at their mom or say something bad to their mom, the dad would tell them to never speak to his "honey" that way. Parents should always be on the same page...and whoever is living in the home. Don't forget to follow through. You're doing a great job, Mi'ja. BTW..I LOVE this picture!!! It's a framer!
We went through the same thing with Weston.
I finally put Vinegar in a spray bottle and whenever he uses a naughty word or calls someone a name we spray vinegar in his mouth! It toally works and it is totally safe and harmless!
Try it!
its totally a phase. he is testing his limits. bronson still tries...little stinker. you know what works best for me. i make mine stick their nose to the wall and stand there. they HATE it. and when they misbehave in stores, i do it there too. "take that!" <-what i want to tell them.
wish i had advice for you but i have no experience :)
just wanted to say thanks for your sweet comment the other day about my photos! glad to have found your blog from it.
I believe it's just a phase. Yes, consistency is key! Also, I feel that he is just learning new things. Sometimes Kody will yell weird things at me, and I think she's just practicing how to defend herself or express her upset at whatever it is. A lot of times I ignore it instead of giving her attention and she'll come up to me a few minutes later and apologize for being mean. Hang in there. I don't think he's being vicious with true intention behind it
Oh the phases kids go through. Macy is not there yet but she definitely yells no at me and throws fits about things (everything) right now. I just have to remind myself that this is what kids do! Good thing she is so cute or I might sell her on ebay sometimes!
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